my tutor said, i have a massive problem with my self-confidence. i did not see myself like this before. i was such an open person. but now, i feel like ive slowly changed.i do not want this change.
but as i observe myself properly, i begin to think more about myself. i am not confident with myself, yes.
i do not like to work in a group. i love to do things on my own to escape communicating with people.
i dont like it.
my tutor also said that i am too hard on myself. he really understad my feeling i cant believe it.
i dont know. things are not good for me recently.
whenever i see someone beautiful, i feel like im so ugly. that i cannot talk to her. that she shouldnt even can see me here. this black shadown in that room.
i know. what had happened to me?
where is the feeling that im so beautiful that i have before?
why i feel like im so ugly and not beautiful and theres always something wrong with me even after i had spent like 4 hours in the gym breakingg fat.
maybe because i keep comparing myself with them. they have long brown hair.. my hair is just black. they have lovely eyes.
i dont know.
this time like this, i miss talking to my best friend, jelina. i dont know how can i survive without her. shes so kind to me. shes so beautiful but she didnt judge me. she didnt make me feel im ugly.
i am not ugly!! yes, i have to keep telling that to myself.
i need to do something with this.